Dominus mei sum fati, Dux mei sum animi

Invictus

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

There comes a time in every man's life that he finds that he has been subject to circumstance, that he has sat idly by as his fate is shaped by the world around him. And every man will at some point find that he has a choice to make, to stand up for his fate and become the master of his own destiny or allow the world to continue as the captain of his soul. The weak do nothing but sit and in their mind enjoy the way the world thrashes them about as they allow the ship of their soul to remain without a pilot.

For far to long I have been subject to the rule of what fate others would inflict upon me. After watching Invictus last night I realize that only I can change my destiny. It is time for me to shake of the shackles that have bound me to this life and stretch forth to new heights. No longer will fear and doubt cloud my judgment, no more will I walk with my head bowed in shame. I will raise my bloodied head and look my tormentors in the eye, remove the club from their grip and with it I will shape a new future. I will step forward into the darkness not knowing what lies ahead but I will not fear for I AM THE MASTER OF MY FATE, I AM THE CAPTAIN OF MY SOUL.

Plans

Well our plans didn't go nearly as we had hoped. I was declined a position with North Summit EMS and so that makes things a little interesting for us. Abram is growing like a weed and we are very excited. Sarah Jane wasn't able to get a job for this fall either so we are kind of at a stand still as what to do next. We have some options we are trying to decide on and we trust that it will all work out for the best. Hopefully I will still be able to get the experience that I need to get into the Paramedic program. or to atleast get my paramedicine certification.

Abram

Well it finally happened Abram Michael Scadden was born on May 12, 2010. It was awesome to watch him come into our lives and we were so amazed to finally get to see him. He is now 3 weeks old and has quite a set of pipes on him, (he could even beat out his Grandpa Scadden in a shouting match I bet).



My wife is still seeking a position as an English teacher in a High School or Middle School/ Jr High. We hope she gets a position soon. EMT life is wonderful, I am getting alot of great feedback from my supervisors and I am grateful for every comment that the give. Last Sunday was Abram's baby blessing and it was wonderful, even though I found out later that I had missed a roll-over call on the freeway (a great opportunity lost, but a better experience gained). This opportinity came less than a week after we worked on extrication in Fire Class.

Driving over Parley's Summit will soon end as the offices move to Layton and so I will be able to use Weber Canyon to drive to work. I do hope that all goes well for my wife and that she will soon get a job. School starts this fall for me again and I will be attending Weber State, where I will hopefully be able to obtain a space in the Paramedic Program there and gain a degree as a Paramedic.

Another Day Waiting

Today started as just another day. Rain, an hour drive to work and 9 hours of waiting. Waiting for my wife to call and say, oh I'm in labor go to the hospital. Life here in Coalville is really quite nice. It is a small town and has already held many opportunities for my wife and me. I was a little hesatant about moving to such a small place so far away from where I work, and so close to her family and far from mine (I didn't want my children to grow up and not know my side of the family, who reside in Idaho 3 hours at closest). But so far everything has been going great. I have found a second job that is giving me experience for my carreer as an EMT- Basic and my wife has had the opportunities to interview for a teaching position. Things are going great for us. I even think I might start writing a book. Why write a book? I don't know it just sounds like something that would be interesting. Maybe I could help a friend finish his series. Who knows but for right now I sit and wait.

I wait for that little call. the one that will come and my whole world will change. I am very excited to get it but the anxiety of waiting is slowly driving me insane, or as my dad would say "drive me to drink." Any father, or husband to be whose wife is in the last few weeks of her pregnancy knows what I am talking about. The hours seem longer just because she could call at any minute and then when she doesn't call you are both relieved and frustrated due to the long hours that you spent waiting anxiously for the call. I am worried that I will get home one night and be called to the scene of an accident and miss my wife saying I'm in labor. It is really quite nerve racking. For now though like all Fathers to be, I sit and wait anxiously for my wife to go into labor.